Where do I actually start if I've never owned a gun?

Question

I've shot a few times at ranges with friends' pistols, but I don't own anything yet. I keep reading threads about caliber wars and rail systems and it's overwhelming. I have small hands, so I know grip size matters—that part makes sense to me. But what's the actual first step? Do I pick a purpose (home defense, range time, carry) first, then a gun? Or do I rent a bunch at a local range and see what feels right? I live in [state with normal gun laws], so no weird restrictions. I don't need the fanciest thing, just something reliable that I can actually hold and manipulate. What am I missing in my thinking here?

Renata Silva · Accepted Answer

**What's your actual first step?** Take a basic pistol class before you buy anything. I know that sounds like me gatekeeping, but hear me out—you'll learn *why* certain features matter to your hands and shooting style, not just that they matter. Range rental will feel totally different once you've got fundamentals.

**Why before purchase?** Because right now you're shopping blind. You've shot a few times with other people's gear. A good instructor (4–8 hours minimum) will let you try different platforms under supervision, show you why grip angle and trigger reach actually affect your control, and—this matters—teach you what you're actually looking for instead of what internet arguments say you should want.

**Does purpose come first?** Yes, but keep it simple. Home defense and range training use almost identical guns. Carry is different ergonomically and legally depending on your state. Figure out which one is primary.

**Your specific profile:** You've got small hands and limited experience. That narrows things fast. Rent a compact 9mm (Glock 19, M&P Compact, Sig P365) at a range with an instructor present. Shoot it. See if it works for *you*, not for the internet. Small hands often do better with narrower slides and shorter triggers—a Sig P365 or similar subcompact can be easier to manage than a full-size.

**Next move:** Find a local instructor who teaches basics. Most run $150–300 for a half-day. Worth every cent. Then buy.

Jamie Chen · Answer

Both of those takes are solid, but honest—I want to push back on something neither of them asked yet.

You said 'home defense, range time, carry' like they're all the same gun problem. They're not. Home defense and range time? Sure, one gun handles both fine. But *carry* changes everything about what matters.

If carry is even in your future—doesn't have to be primary, but if it's on the table—then purpose absolutely comes first, because the gun that works best for home defense and the gun that works for AIWB concealment with small hands are different animals. Trigger guard design, slide length, grip circumference, how the gun sits in a holster when you're moving—those variables flip.

So before you take that class gulfcoast recommends (you should), answer this honestly: Is carry something you want to do? Ever? Even occasionally?

If no—home defense only—then kept.simple's three-gun test is right. Rent and shoot, pick what fits.

If yes or maybe—then the class becomes even more important, because you need an instructor who can show you why a P365 handles completely different in a concealment rig than it does on a range bench. The geometry that makes it good for small hands also makes the draw path and reholster way more forgiving at typical home-defense distances. That's actually huge. But you won't see it until someone shows you.

Which one applies to you? That tells you whether kept.simple's list stays the same or shifts.

Priya Menon · Answer

Okay, so I'm genuinely the newest shooter in this thread, and I want to answer southpaw's question directly because it actually matters to how I'm thinking about this.

Carry is not in my future—at least not right now. Home defense and range time, that's it. I live alone, I'm not planning to take a CCW class anytime soon, and honestly the idea of carrying every day sounds exhausting. So that part's settled.

But here's where I got stuck reading this thread: gulfcoast and kept.simple are both saying 'take a class first,' and southpaw is saying 'figure out your purpose first,' and I kept reading it like those were in conflict. They're not. My purpose *is* the answer to southpaw's question. Once I knew carry wasn't happening, suddenly the advice got way simpler—kept.simple's three-gun list actually applies to me without the extra variables.

So my actual next step is: find a local instructor who teaches pistol basics ($150–300 sounds right based on what I'm seeing), book a session, then rent those three guns (P365, G19, M&P9 Compact) at a range that has them. Shoot them with better fundamentals than I have now. Pick the one my hands don't fight.

I think what I was missing in my original thinking was that I needed to narrow my *purpose* before I could trust the gear advice. Once I did that, the rest stopped feeling like a pile of opinions and started feeling like actual steps.

Does that track with what you all are saying, or am I simplifying too hard?

Katie Epps · Answer

gulfcoast_ops nailed the class part—do that. But I'm going to cut straight to what actually matters for your hands and situation.

Small hands + home defense = you need to test three specific guns, full stop:

**Sig P365.** Narrower grip than almost anything else, short trigger reach, proven reliability. This is the modern answer to small-hand pistols. Not because of internet hype—because the geometry actually works.

**Glock 19.** Wider than the Sig, but the trigger reach is reasonable and they run forever. You might hate the grip angle; you might love it. Can't know until you hold one.

**S&W M&P9 Compact.** Grip angle closer to 1911, shorter slide than full-size, narrower than the G19. Some people's hands just prefer this.

Rent all three at the range *after* you take the class gulfcoast mentioned. Shoot 50 rounds through each. Your hand will tell you which one doesn't fight you.

Skip everything else—don't rent a full-size, don't rent a .45, don't rent last year's model because someone online said so. Those three cover the actual variables that matter to you.

Then buy the one that felt right, add a weapon light (critical for home defense—you need to see what you're shooting at), and train with it. Done.

The internet will tell you why your choice is wrong. Ignore that. It won't be.